I offer counselling in English and in Italian. People sometimes ask me if the language really matters. I think it does.
Feelings have a language
Most of us learned our first words for feelings as children, in one language. Those words stay close to the body. When you say them, you feel them.
In a second language, you can explain very well. You can describe a situation, give the facts, even be precise. But the words can stay at a distance. You talk about the feeling without being in it.
When the first language helps
When something is painful or very old, the first language often reaches it more directly. A word your grandmother used. The way your family argued. Some things do not translate.
Speaking your first language can also be a rest. You do not need to search for words or worry about mistakes. You can just speak.
When a second language helps
Sometimes the distance is useful. Some people find it easier to say a difficult thing in a second language first, because it hurts a little less. Later they may say it again in their first language, and it feels different.
There is no right choice. Some people use both in the same session. A sentence starts in English and ends in Italian. That is welcome here.
Choosing
If you live abroad, you may speak one language at work and another at home. It can help to ask yourself a simple question. In which language do you talk to yourself when you are upset?
The right language is the one that lets you say the hard things.
These reflections are general information. They do not replace personal counselling or medical advice.
